how to suck. a guide.

Delta sucks. And they certainly seem to go out of their way to do so.

I’ve flown on Delta almost exclusively over the last 5 years. I’ve wracked up about 200,000 miles cris-crossing the country (with a side-trip to Europe). I’ve put up with some rude employees, no food and often pillows/blankets, uncomfortable seats, and endless delays. I feel like that’s the cost of doing business with the airline industry. But today they’ve crossed over from ambivalent to something bordering a ‘hatemark’ (read about lovemarks if you don’t get that reference).

I want to go home for Thanksgiving. And since I’ve never redeemed a single frequent flier mile and I have oh-so-many, I thought this would be an auspicious first occasion.

Suckage number one: After promoting endlessly how a domestic ticket should cost 25,000 miles..they want 50,000 due to availability. Fine. I get this is pretty common. But still, they should realize this is bad marketing. A bad customer experience. You want to (positively) surprise them, not disappoint your customers. Score: Delta -1. Delta disappoints.

Suckage number two: Bleeding your customers dry. Apparently Delta has added something where if you book a miles flight within 21 days of taking it, they will charge you $75. Seriously. $75 (in addition 50K miles) for the “free” flight, that I’ve earned. (And I do feel like I”ve earned it since I was forced to endure Delta being Delta). Nice. This is not that standard. Continental doesn’t have this 21 day window. This is Delta sucking extra hard. Score: Delta -2.

Suckage number three: After this disappointment, I figure I should call Delta. After all I just moved across the country in the past week, and so I can be forgiven for not being aware of the 21 day window and also for missing it this one time. I mean I just moved! Surely they’ll take care of me. Their “valued customer.” After all, I’m a “Gold Member,” and they go through all this other trouble with stupid mailers and a gold frequent flier card to tell me how special I am. After waiting on hold for 10 minutes (and this on the “special” number that I’m entitled to), I explain the situation and she immediately says, “We do not ever waive that fee.” Nice. Delta -3.

I call all this out to not only vent. Delta sucks! But also as an example of a bad company. A company that doesn’t get marketing. Everything communicates in marketing. And customer experience definitely matters. So what’s the point of having a program that rewards your “best” customers if you don’t do anything to help them and instead try to bleed them dry? They dislike you, your brand, and will have ZERO loyalty. So here’s to Virgin America beating the living crap out of Delta going forward.

Oh, and Delta? If you want a tip? Give up the pretense of trying to build a relationship, or mattering. You’re a commodity. From now on, I’ll fly which ever airline is cheapest. Unless that airline is Delta.

Disclosure: I’ve had some amazing Delta employees help me over the years. And they’re awesome. But one negative experience wipes away goodwill pretty easily…